February 22, 2009

The Utmost Perversion

That dude is a sick, sick man. Perverse online stalking originally took form in  "I used to play Quaterback", but it is now surely embodied by another aforementioned balding Jewish creature. Mostly at this beast's urging, the following list of chest assaulting facebook discoveries have been made.

Feb 7
SE edited Education Info, Work Info, Interests, About Me, Quotations, Music, TV Shows and Books in his profile, and changed his profile picture. 9:06pm

IB wrote at 9:49pm
i noticed yo no longer have mind of mencia listed under your tv shows section

Feb 8SE wrote at 12:00am
yea his show isnt on anymore. so im not interested in it anymore. times change.

Feb 13
IB is selling his Mind of Mencia DVD's: who wants them? The sooner you PM or comment me for them, the better chance you have at getting it. I DO NOT have season 4. 2:47pm

If this doesn’t mutilate your chest, I don’t know what will. Does no one else see how absurd it is for IB to be a fan of the man who included the line “de de de” in about 62% of his skits? Where the fuck were his parents when he was buying those dvds? My guess is there were probably off looking up the definition of irony. Also, the frequency with which IB changes his status coupled with the fact that it only took him 43 minutes to recognize E's profile changes and comment on them is deeply disturbing. At least this finally isolates the group of people that actually watched that garbage.

Too Much
When given the opportunity to briefly summarize himself, the most important thing that TR wanted to convey was "Is a brother of the Delta Chi Fraternity." He also chose to go to school in the state of Indiana.
Also for those of you wondering about champion paper-saver VC's view of the world - "Im LiKe A PeRfOrMeR, Da DaNcE FlOoR Is MaH StAgE.."
Someone was concerned enough with this question to post a poll on his wall in an attempt to get some other people's opinions - "Do you think VC has ever used sex to advance their career?"

BREAKING NEWS: SB was spotted at a mall in Peabody, MA!

Few quick Facebook ticker bullet points:
  • BP actually works at Cracker Barrel and "LOVES THIS JOB"
  • SB has Weird "Al" Yankovich listed as on of her favorite artists.
  • JV rocked a goatee for a period of time, then realized that Adam Morrison would laugh at it. He also finally looks 12 years old.
  • SM is livin' large

At some point towards the end of the summer, PC decided to uproot himself and move to the Arizona desert. He knows no one in the state and takes many very poor quality pictures of himself alone in his room while looking the same he did when he left Somers to play center for the LA Lakers.

Like I said, most of the fuel that powers this chest auger was located by a surprisingly disgusting asshole. Fuck him.


the line (not ashley peters, but the kind in the sand at the alamo) said...

you have stepped over me completely and irrevocably

... in the sand at the alamo said...

at the sam alaimo?

Ashley Peters said...

the Newman link isn't working... get on that

nick d said...

sam alamaino - was he on jeopardy?

slumdog millionaire said...

I'm better than sudeep at trivia games

taylor rochestie said...

how deep?

disgruntled said...

who is taylor rochestie??

matt newman said...

i used to play quarterback!!!

dan noonan said...

i'm disgruntled.
why did nate dogg pick newman to play qb and not me?

nate dogg said...

im not gonna lie...it was because of the whole spinal tap thing

dan noonan said...

but i gave you big ed's copy of jungle fever

seriously worried said...

did marbach eat splinter?

el grande nariz said...

holy shit this is hilarious

steng2495 said...

I don't really care that whoever posted this content... it was shit i did in high school. but seriously, could you take down the posts about me?

its one thing to rip on me if you know me, i dont give a shit. but to do it without my consent is fucking horseshit, and personally, your a pussy if you can't say that shit to my face.

anyways if you would remove the content about me id appreciate it.