November 20, 2008

McTickly

Yo guys, what's going on?

Long time no see. Yeah, my bust.

Life's been different. We're almost graduating (one year - please go slowly), and before we know it we'll be knee deep in corporate crap, s'ing d's for $$. Is this appealing to anyone? Not really. College right now is the place to be. Why? Well the job market is horrible. Plus D-Bon is home in Somers every week (I drive by him daily - no comment). So there's really no incentive to be home right now other than to go to Taco Bell, stop by the high school, or hang around and check out what Max is doing with his life. Fuck the real world, man. College is the epitome of human existence. I'm talking hard partying, sex with chicks you never would have stood a chance with in the real world, and finally being able to tear on kids without having to worry about Linda Horisk's "Zero Tolerance" policy.

We all know our first year was epic. New environment. Hot chicks. Mad booze. Awkward conversations in person - "Hey, we're friends on facebook, right?". Freshman year is like a post-masturbation orgasm. I'm talking the kind where, in high school, a girl comes over, you make out a bit, but don't bone, then she leaves, and you've got a fat wood, so you just let it all out - It's short, sweet, and powerful. And after, you really don't have anything to compare it to. Since then, things haven't compared. They've been good, yes, but not great. Nothing parallels the freshman experience, except maybe senior year. We'll see. Who knows. What I do know is, is that everyone is fucking weird. And I mean really fucking weird.

I don't know if it's just me, but when we graduated, I feel as if everyone was kind of on the same plane within a group of friends - same interests, same activities, etc. But as we meet up later on in life, and see where college has taken us, shit starts popping up about people that you never expected, and dudes stop fronting and let out their real selves. Like D-Bon finally telling people he's gay (although his facebook says he likes women - what the fuck man). Or Kamer finally letting his earthy side go nuts (he goes camping a lot now).

How long will this shit last? It's chill being yourself, and god knows I respect that, but it's ridiculous to go through a self-revelation in four years of college all to just enter the real world and completely revert to conformity. What do I mean by that? Example: said girl gets tattoos all over her body during college, tongue ring, nip rings, etc. She's about to graduate, has good g rades, wants to make dough, and applies for a job at Goldman Sachs. Oh fuck - you mean they don't hire chicks that look like hookers? Or look like they haven't showered for months because they've been too busy camping/making granola/listening to emo music?

Fuck that man. Hell yeah I'd wear flanels every day, or t-shirts that show two mice fucking a piece of cheese (Thinnies), but why waste my money on that shit if in three years I will never be able to rock it again. Maybe it's my jew nose speaking - I don't know - but my head's in the future, and my hand is in my back pocket. I'm not droppin bones to feel good for four years unless its well spent on medicinal drugs. Be yourself on the inside. Enjoy college. And if you dont plan on hitting up NYC or some other major business job when yuo graduate, wear whatever the fuck you want.

I'm out.

November 13, 2008

Change (the non-Obama kind)

      Carolina is 7-2, the Jints are 8-1, and the Rangers are atop the Eastern Conference (for those who give a shit the Jets are a legit 6-3) but perhaps the most impressive team right now, is the New York Knickerbockers. 
      Seriously though, only eight games in and they’ve already got 22% of the total wins they had last year. To me, the fact that they’ve actually managed to go this long without having a major breakdown is at least a testament to the fact that Isaiah Thomas is getting better at selecting the chicks he routinely sexually harasses. Maybe it’s just that the Oakland Raiders have recently usurped our post, ending the Knicks’ run as the most embarrassing sports franchise, but I feel good about this season.
       Chris Duhon is (as much as it pains me to say it) playing relatively respectably (4.7 A/TO), Zach Randolph is at least moving, and if all goes well Stephon Marbury and Eddy Curry will soon be killed by some foreign virus Danilo Gallinari brought over with him. I’m pretty sure that’s why we got him anyway. Shit, we even dropped 132 points on Memphis today. Yea, I know it’s Memphis.
       I’m not saying we’re gonna make the playoffs, or even be good, but surely this team is a fuck of a lot better than last year’s and could still prove to be watchable. A 500 record is attainable as long as David Lee gets some floor time and Wilson Chandler doesn’t remember who he actually is. Plus, the Knicks are a long term project and all we really have to do is play well enough and clear the cap space to lure LeBron in two years.
       Yes it’s ridiculous that the possibility of a somewhat respectable season is actually exciting, but bearable New York basketball is something we haven’t seen in a while. Think about it, the last time we had a winning season, Jeff Van Gundy was the head coach, Bean hadn’t yet roofed that Kev U. mini banana, and Bush II had approval ratings hovering around the mid 80s. So believe it, this team is capable of mediocrity, but it’s not gonna come easily.


Who the fuck am I kidding, this team blows and no one watches NBA basketball.

November 8, 2008

Presidential Rhetoric

If we learn nothing else from the recent election, let us learn the value of an inspiring speech. Yes, the country was fed up with eight years under the Bush regime. Yes, Obama's policies are more promising than McCain's. But, really, what it comes down to is this: there is going to be a Neeg in the White House come January, and the primary reason is that he could get peeps fired up.

This brought to mind another presidential election that took place roughly four years ago in which one of the candidates won solely on the grounds that he was able to rouse the crowd with a meaningless, under-prepared speech. To be fair, though, he was running against Greg Falco. Here it is...



Other notable student speeches:
- Juan's "Number of times..." Speech
- Kamer's "Forget about game" Speech
- Arpon's Student Council Speech (what was it about again? i just remember it being good)
- Olmetti's "Recess-Braveheart" Speech
- Dave Bazzano's "There's an alligator in my pants" Speech
- Jackie Pizzimenti's "Video Killed the Radio Star" Speech
- Plichta's "I'm not gonna promise you pizza parties and ice cream" Speech[es] (there might have been more than one... do any of you remember these? They were painful to sit through)
- Danny O'Shea's "One Time" Speech
- Mike Choi's "I really don't have a speech" Speech (my personal favorite)
- and of course... Kratschmer's "I eat the crusts first" Speech

November 3, 2008

Barry!

Barack is paying 1/9 in Vegas right now, so I thought I would repost this.

CHAMPIONSHIP!