June 25, 2008

I Don't Have a Job

While this isn’t really news to anybody, especially to those who have not seen me since I shaved my dealer stache, it has become an issue. Two full weeks of sitting on my ass until 5 o’clock have made me a desperate, pathetic person.

First off, I have become a facebook stalker to the point that even Newman might feel disgusted.

Proof:

The appearance of the same perpetually stoned black guy previously featured on bonsai could to the untrained eye signal that Steve Smith has actually made a friend. Realistically though, upon finding out what this dude was wearing for Halloween, he bought a Fred (pussy) costume and followed him around until he was high enough to pose for a picture. This classic, from the album “Knicks Preseason Game and Halloween,” immediately brings up the question: Who the fuck goes to Knicks preseason games? The idea of Stephon Marbury and Zach Randolph giving even less of a shit about their jobs is so depressing that watching those videos of Shaun Eng is actually uplifting by comparison. Their defensive effort must be so pathetic that even a certain squad headed by Will Smith could drive to the basket. Any thoughts Will?

Word?

Secondly, I am so routinely bored that one day I actually agreed to accompany Kamer to his 3 and a half hour history class at Purchase. I was, however, completely unprepared for the absurd crew that made up his class.

Students:

  • A gay version of P4
  • The over anxious participant or Greg Falco character- It's too bad he was never asked to read out loud.
  • Black guy from Bro Rape video
  • Pack of old peeps- sat together in the corner and talked about the flu or Medicare or the Polo Grounds or whatever else ridiculously old people talk about
  • Herman- A partially blind, middle-aged guy who looks like former Colombian goalkeeper Rene Higuita with a Fu Manchu who was accompanied by his Seeing Eye dog and had apparently lost 50 bones on a bet during a previous class

Thirdly, I've had time to fully realize something that was brought up collectively by Newman, Smilo and myself. Fact: Steve Smith, Will Smith, Jared Smilowitz, and Noah Sandberg all have girlfriends. What the fuck are the rest of us doing? Aside from making creepy posts such as this, that is.

Lastly, not having a job sucks because I’m not like Paps, I not gonna beat off 8 times a day.

4 comments:

paps said...

to be honest man i hit 8 by 2 o'clock the latest... i should also mention that i wake up around 1 every day

k-mizz said...

wow, that goalkeeper really does look a lot like herman (whose full name is actually German Fermin). Ok i need to get back to writing a poem from the point of view of an Aztec preparing for battle with the Spaniards, which is my final project in the class.

block said...

the pic of my dad wackin off was really unnecessary.

steng2495 said...

I don't really care that whoever posted this content... it was shit i did in high school. but seriously, could you take down the posts about me?

its one thing to rip on me if you know me, i dont give a shit. but to do it without my consent is fucking horseshit, and personally, your a pussy if you can't say that shit to my face.

anyways if you would remove the content about me id appreciate it.

thanks,

shaun