Of the people I'm friends with on Facebook that filled out a bracket, I was bested by the following...
Rob Antonentz: I don't really have much to say here, Rob A filled out a good bracket. But, for good measure, Dipping Sauce.
Rich Abate: REALLY? Rich Abate? Does he keep college basketball analysts in that bodybag of a backpack? I win in the end though, because even I've got a better haircut than him.
Mike Hart: When you've got a personality as exciting as folding laundry, I suppose you've gotta have something going for you. As long as he keeps wrecking Tuosto in soccer I've got no problem.
Ryan Diterichs: This bracket was clearly filled out by a robot, as Ryan D is a mere myth.
Bryan Smith: The lone Canadian on the list. This bracket loses all credibility, because, as previously mentioned, he's a Canuck.
Troy Donohue: Always does well in pools, but this year it's easily explained - he transferred to a school with legit b-ball and rode them to success. Loses out because he's friends with Steve Smith.
Justin Windman: How did this happen? If he keeps his shirt on when he plays soccer from now on, I'll overlook this.
Chris Thumen: Too bad his soulless school lost in the second round. Fuck the Bundesliga.
Todd Rosenbaum: WHAT?! I don't know if winning MVP 3 years ago went to his head, but the kid willingly spends time with Chris Gross. I'm too upset to talk about this.
Andrew Becker: Kid I went to Hebrew School with. Last I saw him, he was pretending to have sex with a sprinkler. I imagine things haven't changed much.
Ashley Peters: This one caught me off-guard. Only girl up here (MIH Kate Cannon was up there for a while until she realized that she was no longer MIH), so I guess respect? But when it comes down to it, I would.
Jason Anton: Another Hebrew School clown. Actually had my Bar Mitzvah with this kid, and though he was much smarter than me, I owned shit on the big day. Now he goes to Princeton, so in my mind he's Carlton Banks (from the earlier seasons).
Tripp Kerrigan: Favorite team listed as Wisconsin. Any logical explanation for this?
Mike Arita: I just want to take this opportunity to announce to the world that Jones works as a Chinese food delivery boy.
Nick DeBellis: This big, dumb idiot beat me by a fucking point. Should have been disqualified outright for having Duke in the Final Four.
Matt Newman: Despite all his shit-talking on my bracket, only beat me by a point. What can I say? The kid sucks mad D.
Juan Mendez: This one was a tie, but I think I get the nod for having my needs satisfied most recently.
But all of this doesn't really matter in the end, all because of one fact - I beat Phil. The dumbass may not have filled out his bracket, but I'm still smarter than the salutatorian.