January 14, 2008


I did it. I fucking did it.

On Friday, Janurary 11th 2008 at approximately 3pm I marched my long haired, paled skined, blue eyed Russian ass into Taco Bell. I met the Indian cunt rag himself, Moni, face to face for the first time since he took two cheap, girly swings at my face; and ya know what that cock sucker did? NOTHING. That fucker took my order, made it with his mexican slaves, filled my drink, bagged it and got me fucking hot sauce.

It was raining on this Friday, and I was working a long shift at the glorious petland discounts.
I'll admit, some days while slaving to keep creatures neat and odorless I CRAVED a nice, fresh, hot, delicious taco (pun intended.) I will also admit that I had made a previous attempt at getting tacos and I pussied out; but this time was different.

I waltzed into, "The Bell," (I hear this is what the regulars call it) and made sure that if I was going to do this that I was going to go all out. I kept my head up so that dirty redskin shit face would look me in the eye. I was fucking hungry and I was making sure that the only walking shit colored and scented human would be serving me.

I walked to the counter and already had in my mind the order I was going to place; but poo poo face was on the phone.

"One minute buddy."

One minute buddy...I didn't think so...

"No, I'm in a hurry, I have to go back to work."
"One minute buddy."

This guy calls himself a buisness man? Telling ME ONE FUCKING MINUTE BUDDY? Is this for real? I'm the only guy in the dumb and this asshole thinks he can tell me to wait one minute while he makes sure his overweight whale of a wife isn't making tacos for some other cunt at the other taco bell in yorktown? I didn't think so, and I didn't hesitate. I began to exit the establishment. I took about six steps towards the door when his pea sized brain realized what was going on. I heard him say some bullshit in indian or chinese or french or whatever that fucking taco architect speaks, and then get my attention.

"Buddy, Buddy come back come back."

I spun around and made eye contact with the sperm sponge.

"Can I order now or you gunna make me wait longer?"

I was scared. He could snap at any minute. What if he recognized me? What would I do? I made sure to be more aware than Eli Manning is at his post game interviews.

"Yes yes I'm sorry buddy what can I get for you?"

I ordered a pair of baja chalupas and watched THE LISP do what he does best. I have to give it to him, Moni knows how to make a fucking taco, and he knows how to do it with speed. He finished my creations, and had one of his mexican minions fill my soda. I paid and left, it was as simple as that. I had won; and I plan on going BACK.

Four years later I came, I saw, I ordered TACOS.


Kev U. said...

my favorite part was when you made fun of his skin color.

theSQUIN said...

moni knew exactly who you were which is probably why he shit into the meat gun and created your tacos. but in the end it doesnt really matter because he has been around t-bell so long that his shit tastes like beautifully seasoned beef.

The Hebrew Hammer said...

the meat gun is already filled with poop. you ever see the consistency when it comes out? reminiscent of cat shit/the free chili at 7-11.

all this being said, t-bell is the food of the gods.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

Grade D meat tastes like angels in my mouth

qualitypoop said...

the free 7-11 chili is the most disgusting meat substance available. It's probably only free because there are laws against selling food with a puke content higher than 40%.