October 29, 2007

Look- A -Likes (3rd Edition)

Because of the fact that I can't write creatively and I can't come up with an interesting article, I am back with yet another look alike post. Here it goes...

Former Denver Bronco Shannon Sharpe vs. The Denver Broncos Logo - I have always noticed that Sharpe looked like a horse, but then I realized that it is fitting that he played for the Broncos because he looks exactly like their symbol.

Arkansas Running Back Darren McFadden vs. Kanye West - They are both awesome black dudes.

Former Fox Football Host James Brown vs. Current Fox Football Host Kurt Menefee - They don;t exactly look that much alike, but they held the same position, and they are both large black men. Replacing one big black guy with a cool voice with another big black guy with a cool voice....nice move fox.

ESPN Sideline Reporter Erin Andrews vs. Jenna Jameson - She doesn't really look like Jenna Jameson, she just looks like any really hot blonde chick. Erin Andrews should cover every athletic event possible. A hilarious Erin Andrews pic.

This Kid from the newest Halloween movie vs. Spencer Dunn - Watching this movie all I could think about was how this kid reminded me of good ole spence dunn.

LSU Quarterback Matt Flynn vs. My Boy Tom Irving - This is completely random, but I feel its pretty close. I don't know how I came up with this one but the LSU QB definitely looks like one of my friends from Cortland.

Hines Ward vs. Mike (Jones) Arita - This one has been thrown around for a long time, and it still makes me laugh.

Seattle Seahawks Head Coach Mike Holmgren vs. The Cowardly Lion - Holmgren looks like an idiot and he, like his football team, is boring as shit.

Tom Green's Sidekick Glenn Humplik vs. Mike Newman - This isnt as true these days but a few years ago my brother looked exactly like Glenn Humplik.

Florida Quarterback Tim Tebow vs. Cortland Student Rick Perrone - Another random matchup of an SEC QB and a friend from Cortland.

October 16, 2007

Youtube Nation

Oh youtube, you slay me, you anger me, you give me an atomic wedgie...I AM A FAN OF THE YOUTUBE NATION (-steve O, snoop, myself and others)

Nice to know Somers is being represented right on youtube....by this kid. Hey who remembers THIS GUY? You hear these accents? If this kid's act was any worse, Carlos Mencia would be out of a job. I wish I could put his bj imitation on repeat and send it to the Daily Show for a moment of zen. Seriously, who are the adwizards who came up with this one?
-other results from typing in Somers-- Well, the infamous batman tape, endless lacrosse highlights (gay), and for some reason, a long list of Adam Bernier videos....for your sake Julia, these were not posted.

WARNING: This video may cause you to claw your ear drums out.
I used to think having the name I have was kind of cool. Fucking Caddyshack Man! But, then I met this kid, and never again will I be the same. I couldn't get through the whole video, I doubt many of you will. Sorry to waste your time. I did get to the part though where DN's friend points out that she is a woman. Good thing she did this, cause O boy if she didn't...
-other results searching my name--some mediocre snow boarder, some dude in a douchey band, and Daniel Radcliffe, man i fucking hate that kid.
...Searching other names? Well, there are many Juan Mendez'. Some guy who killed his wife and her mother, a canadian basketball player, a UN special advisor on genocide (hilarious vid), a creator of artsy videos. There weren't too many results with other names. Rob A's pistol pete and SPS videos, pretty funny stuff, and Arpon makes a cameo in The Goblin King. Man, am i bored.

October 13, 2007

Living in a "Predator Mode"

The following is a clip from an Atlanta Public Access television show. There really isn't much more I can say. Just watch.


October 6, 2007

Sophomoric Symposium

As some of you may know, the term sophomore is derived from the ancient Greek for “wise fool.” Being almost a month into my sophomore year now, I got to thinking about all of the wisdom I had accumulated last year and realized that, although I did learn a lot, I still have quite a ways to go.

What I Learned - Handles of Sergei Vodka are the least bad-tasting cheap way to intoxicate a large group (or small army).
Still a Fool - Condiments are not acceptable substitutes for chasers.

- A couple of rounds of slayer in Halo is a great way to end the night, whether it was good or bad.
- When a guy at NYU asks if you want to play “swords only,” he’s not talking about Halo… trust me.

- If you’re making out with a girl and she stops and asks you, “What are you thinking about right now?” – you’re supposed to say something dirty like “What you’re wearing under that skirt” or “If your vagina is as hairy as your upper lip.”
- I said, “I don’t know… what are YOU thinking about right now?”

- Asians are what is wrong with this world.
- At the same time, Korean bitches are very hot.

- In order for a black woman to marry interracially with a white man, his salary on average needs to be at least $50,000 more than hers. For an Asian woman to marry interracially with a white man, it is okay if his salary is as much as $100,000 less than hers.
- Once you go black you never go back.

- There’s no straight way to carve a penis out of a banana and then eat it.
- I guess my roommate is straight.

- High school friends visiting can make for some of the most fun nights.
- …Umair’s vomit.

- Never drink liquor with proof higher than your body weight.
- Fuck that shit, I only weigh 150.

- If you’re drunk, the line significantly drops and/or disappears.
- You need to have standards to begin with in order for them to drop.

- In New York State, it is not legal for a 19 year old male to have sex with any female under the age of 18.
- Marcy is under the age of 18.

- Stalking a hot girl on Facebook is creepy, pathetic, and disgraceful.
- Not only do we do it, but, more often than not, we do it with other males huddled around the computer screen in a quasi circle-jerk, ookie J fiesta of testosterone.

- Good dancing is one of the best ways to score points with a chick.
- Tunak is only considered good dancing to Kate Cannon if you’re John Veg, and you just ran sub 2:00 in the 800.

- Mung Jumping is a two person activity in which one person digs up a female corpse and “eats it out” while the other individual jumps furiously upon the corpse’s torso forcing its innards into his accomplice’s mouth.
- I threw up in a girl’s vagina.

- Girls like to go shopping.
- Not in this day… cuz I ain’t got no money… and you gon' gimme the money you got.

Our sophomoric wisdom puts us in a position to teach the less experienced. But we must always remember that, although we may be teaching, we are also learning… Learning.


October 2, 2007

Big Fellas

This is just a small compilation of some of my favorite youtube videos. All of which just so happened to involve overweight peeps. Many of you have probably seen some of these but I felt the need to share.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=lmpF4JxqZYk - This first one is just your average fat kid being so unbelievably uncoordinated that he can't even jump down from about 5 feet.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=4yk-ESYl7Bc&mode=related&search= - One of my personal favorites that if you have yet to watch you need to know to watch till the very end. As I searched for this video I came across the title of "Ginger McQuickfeet" which is the perfect title.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=NavNc-OOHzI - Another fat ging gettin it good.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=VoJotPlvVjk - Another example of some big dude with no coordination.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=79O_6ct4SGA - HAHA i just love this guy's determination as he actually thinks he is gonna make it.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=msrEa334EGQ - the big fella.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Xu2HMo63nyU - One of the best....looks like spence dunn tryin to make moves on a moped.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=HzS-OdWVpHo - My all time favorite. Janice is having a ball while the chunky fella shits his pants.