September 19, 2007

Quotes That Are Probably True

"I always remember that whatever I have done in the past, or may do in the future, Duke University is responsible in one way or another."

-Richard Milhous Nixon, 37th President of the United States of America, capital douchebag.

Sudden realization of how awesome this quote is has led me to think about more of history’s memorable moments. While some of these may have never been said, they were definitely thought up.

“Not only did I use the cream, I also injected everything I ate with steroids. Seriously though, look at my balls. ”
- Barry Bonds

“I wonder how many pieces of pie I can fit in my mouth at the same time.”
-William Howard Taft

“I feel very strongly about having Phil join me in providing a good role model for our people”
-Lance Bass

“I wonder how much a nose job costs.”
-The Nov

“So yea, I’m into dudes”
-Spencer Dunn

“Is that guy pointing a gun at me?”
-Martin Luther King Jr. on April 4, 1968

“Sorry I threw up in your mouth.”
-Philip Ponce de Leon

“Finally, a place to dump all my shit.”
- Sir George Carteret, man given the eastern portion of the land between the Hudson and Delaware rivers by the Duke of York.

Thank Anglican God! I can’t believe he took the fuckin’ ODJ.”
-Duke of York


Kids in the sandbox video guy said...

FINALLY! Dildo sex is a two way street!

Ghost of Tubgirl said...

Man, eating that snapper from Wally's Wacky Fish Place was a really bad idea. ...As was getting naked and Robotripping.

Mike Choi's Evil Twin Brother said...

That's impossible I strangled it!

snorlax said...

Man, I'm helping everybody right now.

wigglytuff said...

no dick, its me.

Taft said...

seven pieces.