August 17, 2007

A Glimpse of the Future?

Here is a list of notable people associated with our respective schools.

McGill University Redmen
Burt Bacharach - Musician; 'that guy' in Austin Powers
Samantha Bee - Daily Show correspondent
William Shatner
James Naismith - Inventor of basketball
Richard Pound - Former IOC Vice President - goes by the name Dick.
Thomas Neill Cream - Serial killer, believed to be Jack the Ripper

Carnegie Mellon University Tartans
Ted Danson - Actor, 'Cheers'
Esteban - Guitarist, infomercial star
Ethan Hawke - Actor
Leonard "Hub" Hubbard - Bassist, The Roots
Ming-Na - Actress, The Joy Luck Club; Mulan
Andy Warhol
Kurt Vonnegut

Pennsylvania State University Nittany Lions
Brian Baker - Former Sprint spokesman
Tom Verducci - Writer, Sports Illustrated
Hugh Edwin Rodham - Hillary Clinton's brother
LaVar Arrington - NFL Linebacker
Franco Harris - Former NFL Running Back
Joe Jurevicius - Wide Receiver, Cleveland Browns
Jimmy Kennedy - Defensive Tackle, Denver Broncos
Kareem McKenzie - Tackle, New York Giants
Mike Scioscia - Manager, LA/Anaheim/California Angels, LA Angels of Anaheim

State University of New York at Cobleskill
...I've got nothing, not even a team name.

University of Vermont Catamounts
Mike Gordon; Jeff Holdsworth; Trey Anastasio - Musicians, Phish
Martin St. Louis - Right Wing, Tampa Bay Lightning
Ben Affleck - Actor
Howard Dean - BYAAA!
Erik Liljegren - FOX News correspondent (I thought it said Lief Erikson at first)

State University of New York at Cortland Red Dragons
R-Kal K-Quan Truluck - Offensive Tackle, Montreal Alouttes, CFL
Kevin George Knipfing - Comedian, better know by his stage name, Kevin James
Mick Foley - Best-selling author(wtf?), professional wrestler Mankind
Jake Steinfeld - 'Body by Jake'
Dikembe Mutombo received an honorary degree

Hamilton College Continentals
Alex Haley - Author, Roots
Steven I. Wulf - Cofounder, ESPN Magazine
Leigh Keno - Appraiser, 'Antiques Roadshow'

University of Delaware Fightin' Blue Hens

Jospeh Biden - 2008 Presidential Candidate
Rich Gannon - Former NFL Quarterback
Kevin Mench - Milwaukee Brewers Outfielder
Justin Bresson - Professional seal trainer
Jason Jeandell - "Teacher, geographer extraordinaire!"

New York University Violets
Woody Allen - Actor, Director
Martin Scorcese - Film Director
Spike Lee - Film Director
Adam Sandler - Actor, Comedian
J.D. Salinger
Gary Bettman - NHL Commissioner
Paul Tagliabue - Former NFL Commissioner
Neil Diamond - Musician
Rick Rubin - Music producer
Gaik Ovakimian - Soviet spy

University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill Tar Heels
Heather Monroe-Blum - Principal, McGill University
Lewis Black - Comedian
Stuart Scott - BOOYAH
James K. Polk - 11th President of the United States
Mike Nifong - Head prosecutor in Duke Lacrosse case (disbarred)
Michael Jordan - Former AA Baseball player; Actor, Space Jam
Vince Carter - Guard, New Jersey Nets
Julius Peppers - Defensive End, Carolina Panthers
Lawrence Taylor - Former NFL Linebacker, Crackhead

Darmouth College Big Green
Nelson Rockefeller - Governer of New York, US Vice-President
Robert Frost - Poet
Brad Ausmus - Catcher, Houston Astros
Michael Corleone


fabfingerbanger said...

I would like to add for Dartmouth:

Dr. Seuss
Jay Fiedler
and Bret Cooper

qualitypoop said...

another person from McGill:

J. Gordon Whitehead- douchebag who punched Harry Houdini in the abs before he was ready, thus killing him.

also, missing from UNC:

Thomas Wolfe- author
Peter Gammons- beast
Andy Griffith- actor
Caleb Bradham- invented Pepsi
B.J. Surhoff- hit monstrous shot at Somers High School

The Hebrew Hammer said...

Yeah, this is a very trimmed down list. I originally had like 25 people for each school, but it was way too long.

haley joel osmond said...

violets kid. that squad could win a sporting event...

anonymous gay suicidal showtune performer on e said...

i attend NYU

Anonymous said...

are you trying to tell me a candian/american posing as a canadian invented basketball?

sean salisbury-delaware
i would have liked to seen that mess back in his heyday

The Hebrew Hammer said...

One major omission on my part - The guy who played the original Phillie Phanatic went to Delaware.

Anonymous said...

lets not forget the most important penn state raduate of them all.....kerry collins, qb of the 2000-01 nfc champion ny giants/ amateur cow breeder/alcoholic

kames said...

additional hamilton alumni:

Bruce Cutler '70, defense attorney for John Gotti and Louis Eppolito

Alexander Hamilton... wait on both accounts

Ezra Pound'05 - il miglior fabbro, american traitor

Guy Herbert'89 - former NHL goaltender for the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim. (upon entering pro hockey, changed the pronunciation of his name to "gee er-bay to sound more canadian, according to my former hockey coach)

The Hebrew Hammer said...

Fellas, I think we're all missing the point here - Dikembe Mutumbo has an honorary degree from SUNY Cortland.

theSQUIN said...

hahaha...Cortland State kid!! im sure dikembe has no idea. he's too busy building hospitals in ethiopia and swatting the shit out of guys like penny hardaway.

qualitypoop said...

penny hardaway is alive? i thought that his pelvis cracked just from watching footage of the Peruvian earthquake on tv.

Anonymous said...

Behold, the product of the American University system:

The new American male...

qualitypoop said...

oh boy.

btw next time just post the pic.

Fina Fina Bunt Bunt said...

SUNY Cobleskill - Rob Antonetz

The Hebrew Hammer said...

MIKE D! what a mythical creature.