July 4, 2007

No Jokes. Just Quotes and Facts From 12 of the Most Ridiculous Minutes of My Life

“You google ‘hero’ tomorrow and Abe Lincoln will come up then maybe Neil Armstrong and Taylor Hicks, but then Joey Chestnut.” -On what would happen were Joey Chestnut to win the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Competition

"Unbelievable valor from that man right there Joey Chestnut. Joey Chestnut, a true American Hero.” - Stated right after Chestnut's victory

There is a competitive eater who is a direct descendant of Daniel Boone. When he comes on stage the announcer belts out the entire pedigree. It appears that the same gene that produced the man on whose adventure the Last of the Mohicans was based has also produced a 303-pound behemoth who can eat 274 Russian Dumplings in 6 minutes.

Throwing up was referred to as a “reversal of fortune.”

The Hot Dog Eating Competition on ESPN was followed by a rerun of The National Spelling Bee. What was on ESPN2 you ask? A live telecast of the Wimbledon quarterfinal match between #1 seed Justine Henin and U.S. tennis icon Serena Williams.

3 comments:

The Hebrew Hammer said...

"We have just witnessed the greatest moment in all of American sports."

Kev U said...

USA! USA! USA! USA!

jimmy v gumbatz said...

God damn fuckin micks fuckin jews fuckin chinks