May 10, 2006

Superlatives

So, being that AP's are over, and that the temperature is consistently in the 70's, school is basically over which means its time for some end of the year awards. Just cause I feel like it, they will be in superlative form.

Most likely to shock more women than Michael Jackson does 12yr old boys- Mike Nov

Most likely to have a wang with a mass comparable to that of any Caribbean island other than Cuba...no fuck that, including Cuba- Noah

Most likely to live under a bridge- Troll

Most likely to be completely unintelligible at all times- Big Spizz

Most likely to get so proficient at having his fudge packed, that he can open his own candy stand, say Doug's Fudge Emporium, where he "makes it, but YOU pack it!" - Dark Prince (Runner up- DBon)

Most likely to have a nose with a mass comparable to that of Noah's wang- Nov

Most likely to be a monumental tool- Steve Smith

Most likely to perfect their sandwich making skills and end up working at Subway where they incessantly talk, in their trademark voices, about how they could kick everyone's ass and get any bitch they want-

Most likely to have ask out his prom date by putting a note in one of her books- Phil

Most likely to sodomize a prized baby goat while humming "Deutschland Uber Alles," eating babies, putting up Novosel's hood, and doing coke off a rusty, tetanus-infected knife blade which he used to stab a score of endagered manatees, all while thinking about ripping out a man's intestines and using them for rope with which to tie up innocent damsels to train tracks...and then join the Ghetto Boys- DiPaolo

9 comments:

qualitypoop said...

I accidentally left out the winner of one of the awards. I think its obvious who the co-winners are.

The Hebrew Hammer said...

i must say...not cool. end of the year awards was my thing, and i even had one planned that incorporated the entire grade for graduation. at least make a different title. not cool.

The Hebrew Hammer said...

i must, however, give credit for the last award and the creativity and sick mind necessary to make it.

ethan k said...

i do not recognize the legitimacy of these awards. however, outing phil's big move was legit.

thespicyspaniard said...

alright... does that move make me a massive tool or fuckin' money?

qualitypoop said...

my bad smilowitz, ur right i forgot about the post you made last year. I was wondering why the title sounded so familiar when i typed it in. my bad. oh and phil, in no way does that make you money.

The Hebrew Hammer said...

its cool. and phil is a tool.

qualitypoop said...

a long overdue tittle change

qualitypoop said...

a long overdue tittle change