May 7, 2006

An Evaluation Of Somers High School Clubs

With the plethora of random and often worthless high school clubs, its about time we broke down what each club actually does...if its anything at all that is.

Student Council
Pros- bullshit constitutions, opportunities for free stuff, and they pay for Jack D.
Cons-Taken too seriously...honestly who cares.

Pros- Allows for ridiculous irony
Cons- They are actually against substance abuse

Language Clubs
Pros- Trips, namely Arthur Avenue
Cons- Require people to at least feign interest in something other that the trips.

Animal Awareness/Adoption Club

Pros- Get Wrecked Kid Cheo!!!!!
Cons- Not an actual club...maybe in college

Gay and Lesbian Alliance
Pros- Posts the word "lesbian" all over school
Cons- Can't get us a friggin assembly

Marching Band
Pros- They play "Come Sail Away" and "Pinball Wizard."
Cons- They play "Come Sail Away" and "Pinball Wizard," very badly.

National Honor Society
Pros- Outstanding carnations (To Steve Smith: We find you annoying. From: Everybody)
Cons- Forces people to be within 100 feet of Poops for at least once a week, and also carnation sales are only once a year.

Whatever club it is that put up those global warming signs
Pros- Now there is a clear winner for largest association of douchebags, finally breaking the tie between the College Board and the French.
Cons- The moments I wasted reading those signs have made me a dumber, slower, more pissed off person than ever before.

1 comment:

The Hebrew Hammer said...

a very solid post.