May 18, 2005

The Legend That Is Steve Smith

If you think Steve Smith sucks, you clearly are not aware of the full extent of his suckiness. After all, this is a man who:

- Was excited about going to Florida because he was going to get laid by hot girls that he was supposedly friends with.

- Changed his girlfriend's name from Hillary to Sarah and back in the matter of three periods.

- Has a best friend named Teddy, who apparently once snorted twenty lines of coke after getting "mad" drunk. (Ha, Steve Smith claimed he had a friend.)

- Claims his friend Teddy banged two girls at once in the back of a cab.

- Seems to have plenty of friends from other towns, yet absolutely none in Somers.

- When heard school was being dismissed early, did a Britney Spears dance on top of a desk while singing the lyrics in math class.

- Almost moved to Guam before his parents decided against it.

- Met Britney Spears in person and had a conversation with her.

- When someone brought in donuts for a party, stood at the front of the room and in the stupidest voice I've ever heard said, "Thank you for the donuts."

- Claims his girlfriend had lukemia
(By the way, we still don't know her name)


The Hebrew Hammer said...

dont forget that he found the fact that his "girlfriend" has lukemia, and i quote, "funny"

Sri Sri Rum n' Curry said...

also the story of how he "got mad high" with teddy and the police chief of rye and raided the burger king drive thru

ethan k said...

also, at lacrosse camp, revealed to some buddies that his girlfriend had an extra flap of skin on her vag. apparently it was getting operated on soon, but crispinelli took the initiative and called steve's girlfriend, informing her that he knew her dirty secret. steve then spent most of lacrosse camp reconciling with his girlfriend on the fone.

Anonymous said...


Sri Sri Rum n' Curry said...

teddy's in rehab!